Saturday, January 28, 2006

Plug Pulled on Book of Daniel



I'm so fucking pissed off, I could spit.

NBC has decided to pull the plug on their new show "The Book of Daniel," which I think was one of the most imaginative, well-acted, inspired, and interesting shows to hit the air in the past decade. Aidan Quinn (despite what Robert says about him) is a wonderful actor, and a sweetheart (he starred with my Mom in A Lie of the Mind back in the 80's and I can vouch for his being a darling) and the cast was awesome. Especially Dylan Baker, whom some will remember as the pedophile in Happiness.

The reason NBC decided to sound the Death Knell was because of radical "Christian" groups that were complaining about a program that portrayed Daniel (Quinn), a minister of a church who had a pill popping problem; one son is gay, the other a general fuckup; his daughter deals grass; his wife is an alcoholic; his sister-in-law is a bisexual. The list goes on. Add to it what really put a thorn in the ass of these radical groups: Jesus Christ himself is a character - Daniel talks to him throughout the show as one would try to talk to a higher power (if one believes in it) or even to himself, as he tries to swim a sea of life with a myriad of questions of how to proceed.
In short - it was a program that showed the real and human side of people, despite the fact that they may be Men of the Cloth - and the Christ that many of us believe in - one that doesn't condemn...one that just listens.

One of the main groups that got their fucking panties all in a bunch over this was the American Family Association. What a fucking joke. Family values? These people don't know the first thing about family values. Just about shoving their own beliefs down other people's throats.

This is disturbing to me on a myriad of levels. Some who have been reading my blog for the last year may remember my freaking out over these same kinds of groups flipping out over Spongebob being a gay character and how it upset me because I'm a Christian and I'm embarassed that these ASSWIPE FUCKNUTS are making a big stink and portraying themselves as "real Christians" when they are nothing but a bunch of radical, borderline psychotic, control-freaks who don't represent me or most of the other Christians out there. It's bad enough that they have freaked people out so much that now the pendulum has swung so far and I am considered a right-wing freak for wishing someone Merry Christmas - the radical right christians bitch about that (the only thing I agree with) but c'mon kids: it's their fucking fault to begin with. If they hadn't squawked so much and tried to turn everyone into a old-testament-thumping clone, then we (mainline Christians) wouldn't be in this shit.

These radical cocksuckers do not represent MY faith, I'll tell you.

Being a wee bit full of wine this evening, pissed off that my favorite show had been canceled, and seeing the travesty of it all, I decided to write The American Family Association a letter.
Below is a copy of said letter.

Greetings:
I am a Christian, I am middle of the road in my politics, and I am someone who holds family values in very high esteem.
However, your condemnation of NBC's "The Book of Daniel" was a big mistake, in my opinion. Part of the reason why Christianity is taking a big hit in society is because of radical organizations such as yours, trying to put a stranglehold on the way people view religion and freedom of speech. At least with this show we had Christ in people's homes - we're having enough of a problem getting people to be allowed to say Merry Christmas to each other - at least, here was a Christ that was pallatible to Christians as well as people of other faiths - or lack therof. Here was a Christ that was not condemning or judgemental, but was kind and concerned. And Daniel? The character was a kind, spiritual man who loved Christ, who was an average man trying to find answers in his life. Anyone who even remotely tries to believe that men of the cloth have it all together are wrong - and you know that as well as I do, despite the high and mighty surface you try to uphold.

As a Christian, I am ashamed that groups like yourself have as much power as you do, for it is groups like you that continue to push people who might consider the Christian faith fleeing for their lives, afraid of a religion that does not tolerate a human being really BEing what he is - human, and which promotes a God, that according to you, does not accept weakness of any kind.

Even the stongest, most loving and full of - yes, Christian - faith families have homosexual children, people dealing with addiction, and are trying to answer life's questions through their own talks with God - in whatever form he takes for them. I should know - I come from such a family. Your righteous indignation is blasphemy in and of itself, and goes against what Christ was trying to get across in the first place.

Congratulations on screwing up something else that could have been good.

Dianna J. E. Martin



Heh. I hope they choke on it before they hit "delete."

Sunday, January 22, 2006

I'm An Asshole. Plain and Simple.

Yesterday was my Mother's birthday. I ran my ass off getting her presents (because I couldn't find what I was looking for earlier), and was then in such a foul mood from exhaustion (for they sent me to get tons of groceries, etc as well) that I snapped at her when she asked me what took me so long/where had I been...which was the drugstore, buying her her birthday card.

I mean, could I be any more of an asshole?
I think not. Snapping at her on her birthday. What a fucking kick in the pants. Then to top it off, she snapped at me "Well fine, you don't want to be here anyway - go hang with your friends!"

And so it started...after dismal banter back and forth, escalating into my screaming "FINE! I WAS SHOPPING FOR YOUR FUCKING BIRTHDAY GIFTS, OKAY?!?!?"

Which is, of course, really the way to go if you want someone to really feel loved and cared about on their birthday. I can't blame her for then saying she really didn't want to open them.

Eventually she did, after I started crying, and she realized that I was the pathetic fuckup that I am. Funny...most people don't. I totally have them fooled - except for Pop - which burns my ass that that ornery bastard's got my number. But then again, that's why I love him so much.

Ahhh. Another holiday at the Martin household. Can't you just feel the love? Actually, there's more love in that house than in most; problem is, that we're all too fucked up to really share it without pissing each other off.

*sigh*

In other news...
Wow. Today has been surreal. In fact...(scratches chin) yesterday was as well...

Could it be that being left to her own devices, without a particular schedule to follow, the author gets lost in the activity of her mind?

Perhaps.
Or perhaps it's because estoy enmorada con un hombre...dios mio!
Totally. Completely. Haven't felt anything like it since college. Heh.

In other words, I'm fucked.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

I'm Just a Little Pissed Off...

The next time I try to be friends with an ex-boyfriend and invite him and his wife or girlfriend to a party, will somebody please punch me?

I just got a response from an old "friend" of ten years...or who I thought was a old, dear, friend; we dated in college and had remained friends...to a birthday party invite I sent him.

In his response to my invite, he basically told me that:

1) He had gotten married and hadn't invited me to the wedding
2) That he wasn't going to come because his new wife didn't approve of us being friends
3) That he agreed because he didn't think that they were solid enough in their relationship yet to start renewing acquaintances with people from their dating past.

His email was so cold and distant...
I just feel verbally and emotionally bitch-slapped.

If they aren't solid enough, what the FUCK were they doing getting married? Having done that dance twice, I'll tell you right now: this is not a good sign.

Here are a couple of questions to ponder:
Why would she worry that he would step out on her so soon after their marriage?
Maybe because he married her because she has money? Because she's a hosebeast? Because he's not getting good sex? I dunno...I've never met her - the fucker didn't invite me to the goddamn wedding, even though he came to my first one and was invited to both.

Why would he worry that she might step out on him? Maybe because the last time I saw him, he:
  • Had actually gotten WORSE in bed. That's not supposed to happen.
  • Has horrible, horrible back acne.
  • Can't stop looking in mirrors every time he passes one by. In fact, he seems to feel compelled to look at one if it's there at least six times during any given conversation.
  • Was called "GQ" in college for a reason - and it wasn't a good one.
  • Is so materialistic he makes Ivana Trump look like a housefrau country bumpkin.
  • Takes longer to get ready than any woman I've ever met, and may very well be Ivana Trump - if she was a really tired drag queen.
  • Has a nearly OCD-type bathing/cleaning ritual that would make Felix Unger look like a slob.
  • Despite all his education from his rich parents, and his current law degree that he's working on, he really isn't that bright. It doesn't take much brain power to spit back facts and figures; it does, however, take some neuron-firing to know how to use common fucking sense.
  • Is about as interesting and exciting to talk to as a bag of rocks. The boy doesn't read anything except law school books - and that's only because he's in classes.
  • Engages in nothing but ridiculously self-indulgent conversation
  • Has a desire to wear his hair in a wind-tunnel tested hairdo inspired by The Fonz - which is really just a lame excuse to hide the rapidly-growing bald spot on the back of his head
  • AND... Has a true lack of feeling for animals - he hated my ferrets and is not really that fond of cats and dogs.

    He ended it with "email me sometime, though; you are a friend and I hope we can maybe meet again someday in the future," or some happy horseshit.

    I can honestly say, with sincere conviction, from the bottom of my toes to the top of my head:

    DT: Go Fuck Yourself.
  • Wednesday, January 11, 2006

    Why Is My Custard Lumpy?

    This is the title of a book that I am currently adding to the database. As I sit at work, listening to the strains of Beck floating in on my headphones, I have to ask myself: What the FUCK? Why am I here? Why is a book with this title getting published? And why am I working on something so fucking inane, when I can barely find the time to work on my own writing or acting, for that matter?

    I know...I sound like a bitter old bitch...(again, pause for response) and I was reading the blog below about Swank and Lowe, and I must apologize. THAT was bitchy. Had it been...say...Katie and Tom, I wouldn't be apologizing...and I'm not - REALLY. Hilary Swank is not the kindest person in the whole world (she comes into B&N all the time, many of us have had our run-ins with her - she's rude and can be nasty) but this WAS one of the bastions of seemingly-real marriages in Hollywood where the people really loved each other. It's a pity that one's career took off while the other didn't, that's all...and regardless of who ended it it's a shame. I mention the question of who it was who rang the death knell, because despite my intial assumption that she took off her strap-on and showed him the door, I think maybe he simply had the grace to bow out before she forgot to thank him at the next Oscars.

    Regardless, I know none of it matters a fart in the wind, but at least I can bitch and snicker about other people's relationships who I don't know, as I watch my own love life completely and utterly spiral out of control. In fact one of the only things that seems to be staying under control lately is my weight (knocks wood) which for most of my life has been something that has been completely out control to the point of disaster.
    And honestly? There are several yummy silver linings to all of the drama that I'm complaining about...but the fact that these relationships are not what I think I should have, or that I'm worried that I'll get hurt...or that I'm worried about what I'm evolving into. That maybe I'm turning into an a fire and ice queen who can juggle relationships and keep people at an emotional distance while keeping the flames stoked in the bedroom - which, if I am really honest with myself, is maybe what I've always done, except just added drama to a few of them?

    Nah. Not quite...I have felt love before. I do now. Very much so. I'm really a romantic at heart, but I am so afraid of getting hurt, that at the merest whiff of danger, my heart puts up not only trenches, mind fields, and moats with alligators; it is now equipped with 21st century hardware and can find other things to keep me entertained instead of that oh-so-desired companionship. Like mechanical bulls and dvd players, for instance.

    Monday, January 09, 2006

    As IF Nobody Saw This Coming...




    So, Hilary "Trailer Park" Swank and Chad "Wish I Was Rob" Lowe have split up...

    Call me a cynical, bitter old bitch (pause for response), but is there anyone who didn't see this coming? Is there anyone who is simply surprised that this woman (who despite two Oscars wants us to really believe she just fell off the turnip truck) didn't break up with him sooner? I mean, it's pretty obvious who wears the pants - and is considered the "real" actor - in the family. I think we're all rather relieved; she can hand him his nuts back and we can all wait for the next Hollywood breakup. Hopefully it will be Tom and Katie...but I'm not holding my breath.

    Corn Rocket


    Corn Rocket
    Originally uploaded by Billychic.
    Yep. That's what Sundays are for...writing, being creative, pondering life, and drinking or getting stoned. If you have a second job from home, as I do, you find time to do all that as well.
    I chose to drink (since that teaspoon of Pot Peanut Butter kicked my ass yesterday), write, take bizarre pictures of myself and the clothes I was wearing (such as this t-shirt) and play in Photoshop.

    I wish I too had a car called the Corn Rocket. I would grab my jar of moonshine, travel top speed down the highway and head to Sardis Lake, MS, where I could dip my toes in the water and chuck rocks while I pondered the reasons why I am where I am in my life right now. The good and the bad. Then men that I have chosen, the reasons why I'm not going out on auditions (or haven't even had headshots made yet), and why I haven't sent anything in to literary magazine.
    I have less than a month until I turn...well, until I turn a year older, goddammit. I gotta do something to make a mark in this year before it happens...something good, especially since I seemed to fuck a lot up in the last couple of months.

    Tuesday, January 03, 2006

    Me In Black and White


    me_bw
    Originally uploaded by Billychic.
    Taken after R. left on Thursday; I sat and wondered what I was doing.

    Why? I ask myself why and I can't find an answer - I just invent more questions that hopefully will answer themselves, God willing.

    Monday, January 02, 2006

    Rockstars!


    Rockstars!
    Originally uploaded by Billychic.
    New Year's Eve was really a hoot this year...I had so much fun. Liza came in to town again and we hooked up with Dale, Angel, Josh and his pal Vivian - and I took them all over to the Soda Bar in Park Slope where my old pal Mike Marwit was spinning. I was supposed to go there last year but got caught up at Peter's apartment...
    I'm really so glad we went, though we stayed out a wee bit later than I should have and I'm still tired...


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