Michael, You Will Be Missed - RIP

Photo: www.soulspectrum.blogspot.com

Michael Jackson.

The name, since I was young enough to appreciate music to the point where I was memorizing names, stuck in my head throughout the Jackson 5; and I was one of the first in line to get my Thriller album, which is still in vinyl, sitting in my closet, where it is a tribute to 27 years of history. I can think of very few who did not attempt to do the Moon Walk as I grew up - hell, I can recall a few weeks before hearing about his death, someone at work tried to do it here and we all laughed as his sneakers got caught on the carpet. A bunch of 30 and 40-somethings all laughing and remembering the childhood awe that we felt about him, his music, his glittered glove!

Regardless of news reports his sex life, or his growing eccentric behavior...his ruining his relationship with Paul McCartney by trying to buy the Beatles songs... I think most people, although they would joke about him and his possible sexual desires for pre-teen boys, all felt in their hearts that it was more about a man who was torn from his childhood and wanted playmates...and could only relate to children; and who had major mental problems. There are priests and such who have raped boys, but I don't think that Michael Jackson ever raped anyone - and I have rarely, despite jokes - met anyone who really thinks he did either.

On the day of his recent death, and the day after, an ex-boyfriend began texting me all of these jokes about MJ and his penchant for young boys; then the texts escalated into making fun of his face and his surgeries. I had to write him back and tell him to please STOP - it wasn't funny. The man was DEAD. Three children are without a father, and a world who grew up with him as the center of their musical universe as a child had that man taken away...a man who had become a shell of what he once was. My ex's curt response was "I love the way he was hated by Paul McCartney who issued a press release he loved him and for a decade he was called a child molester but now he's a saint...No one I know is upset (that he is dead) at all."

Well, for starters, this explains why this person and I are no longer dating...but what really gets me is that although some might call him a child molester, I would have to say: look at his interviews. When asked if kids were sleeping in his bed with him and having sleep-overs, he would reply enthusiastically, "Yes!" and talk about all the fun they had. He went to bed watching cartoons. A person I know, who worked in shwanky hotel that MJ stayed at one night said that he called room service. When she asked what he wanted, thinking he wanted food, he asked her to tell him a bedtime story because he couldn't sleep.

I ask you: who can't look at the man and see that he was just trying to re-live his childhood, one that he never was allowed to really have? He was troubled, yes; had mental problems, yes; but although some of us had a good laugh at some of the issues that were going on and his odd behavior, we need to look at the brilliant boy, the brilliant young man, who did indeed become the King of Pop and created a legacy that will go into history for all the good he did.

And what my darling, empathy-filled (I hope the sarcasm is dripping as I type) ex seems to forget is that even people who are seen as twisted at times, and even when there is anger in relationships involved, people will still mourn the untimely death of such a brilliant star who was so troubled that he only weighed 112 at his death. I mean, hell - I will actually mourn when Robert dies...which, I cannot say he would do for me, or anyone for that matter. But that is a whole other post.

Michael - thank you for the good times. I'm so sorry that you were so unhappy. I wish you could have been happier...and hopefully the Neverland you were seeking is now in your hands and around you. Rest peacefully.

RIP Bettie Page

Bettie Page, one of the most beautiful and sexy icons of the 20th century, who also mainstreamed the BDSM movement to some degree - has died.

Right alongside Marilyn Monroe, Marlene Dietrich (who we all know was gay, but only later on), Lana Turner - Page was just as important of a sexual icon, but she also embodied the alternative sexual lifestyle, to the point that her visage has remained a constant source of joy - and cash flow - for people who wish to embody not just the raw and lovely sexuality and fun she shared in her photos, but also the brazen underground culture of the BDSM movement that was going on at that time - and has become more mainstream today. I even own my own Bettie Page necklace/bracelet set (given as a gift by Roisin) and several other merchandise that makes me happy to display her proudly as one of my own icons.



I daresay if it were not for people like Bettie Page, the BDSM movement and even some of the fashion that is loosely associated with it would not be what it is today.



She, like Marylin, was a natural, someone who loved the camera and the camera loved her. And regarding her extra step into nudity? According to the referenced article, Bettie said, ""God approves of nudity. Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, they were naked as jaybirds."



RIP, Bettie. You will live on like Marilyn - but not like Marilyn, because you are your own beautiful - and intensely different person...and icon.

RIP Paul Newman

The only time I ever met Paul Newman was very brief, although I had seen him walking around a million times. It was in the OLD building of the Actors Studio NYC (the real one, back when it was a real place to be revered, and not the joke that it kind of is now) over on...I believe it was 45th street. There was a time I spent a lot of time there as a kid. My mom was in several shows there, and once in a show put together by the folks who did Best Little Whorehouse; my dad directed several plays, and then dad directed Mom and a bunch of other people (including Thomas G. Waites, Francis Fisher, in Tennessee Williams' Orpheus Descending. And it was during this time, that I was hanging out there a lot again...a 15-year-old, bored out of my mind because I wasn't always allowed to watch rehearsal (I think some of the actors complained) and other times I would sneak into an area where they couldn't see me and watch anyway.

Mr. Paul Newman was the Artistic Director, I believe, at that time; and I would see him walking around here and there and think to myself, "Wow, Paul Newman!" even though by that point I'd met so many actors...He came up to me one time and was like "who are you?" and when I explained, he just said, "oh, okay" and took off. He seemed to be an intense man who was concerned about the Actors Studio, and he should have been. Most certainly he should have been. I wonder what was going through his mind over the last 20 years since it went from being a beacon of honor among actors, where so many of our greatest actors used to participate and it was an honor to be a member (hundreds would audition every year and only a handful, literally, IF THAT, would get in) because it meant something; to the way it is now, where one doesn't necessarily have to have any kind of acting gift, they can just either sleep with the right person, drop a name, or take a series of classes and at graduation - even if you suck - you can become a member, thanks to their collaboration with both the New School and now Pace. I wonder what Mr. Newman was thinking...watching all these young faces disembark into what had once been a place with dignity and honor among the acting community.

I didn't know him, just met him, but I had respect for him. And hell, I sure do love that Peach Salsa. The following was sent to me by my friend Nathan who used to be the original drummer for the Flaming Lips and has an awesome wife, my dear friend Jamie, and two lovely kids.



Paul Newman was a wonderful, brilliant actor and he will always be remembered by those of us who are well aware that we have just lost another great one - as three "celebrities" spring up every day...and it's a shame because there are fewer and fewer actors out there who really know what's going on in The Work.

RIP George Carlin

Rat shit, bat shit, dirty old twat;
69 Assholes tied in a knot;
Hooray...
Lizard shit...
FUCK!

Some might find that the fact that that quote is the most important memory I have of Carlin growing up might be aghast. Others would find it delightful and very appropriate.

All I know is that in many ways George Carlin shaped my views on sex "what about Roller-Fucking? That's a sport!", freedom of speech (I think I don't even have to give an example here) and just the hilarity of the stupidity of people that you are surrounded with...he was an important part of my growing up - as a youngin'; as a college student; and as a 30-something neurotic divorcee trying to get her shit together down this weird road we call life.

George, I'm so fucking sorry about your passing; you will be missed terribly. Thank you for opening our eyes to the bullshit, for allowing us to laugh at the bullshit, and call infinite bullshit on the bullshit.

Yours was a ride that we will never forget. I hope you are smoking a big fat joint, your hair tide back in a short short ponytail, and giving your best impression of a really stupid redneck in such a way that God and Jesus will throw their heads back and howl with laughter.

Love you, man.