Monday, December 05, 2005

My Diary - Exposed

Yeah, this is a diary, but of course I censor it a wee bit, especially since I leave it open for folks to read - hell, I invite folks to read it. This blog and the myspace one - although that one is even more over the top - for about 30 folks read it regularly, so I write for their amusement as much as mine. This one, only a handful read, so I just say whatever the fuck...whether or not it's interesting to anyone but me is really open season.

However...my written diary...with my poems, story ideas, thoughts and feelings that never make it to my online blog because they are so fucking personal -- I left the motherfucker at the show last night and didn't even realize it until today. Goddammit. Thank Christ Annie picked it up and called me to tell me that she had it. I just pray to God that she didn't flip through it and read what's in there - I feel like whathisname in Biloxi Blues when the guys in the army base all read his diary - and get pissed off at what they read because he wrote about them. Not that I wrote about Annie, but I know I've written about people Annie knows...

Especially with some stuff that's been going on lately in my life, even if she doesn't know a damn person in that book, it sure would be embarassing. Oh well. It could be worse; _______ could have picked it up and seen what I wrote about him. Holy shit...LMFAO. Makes me really question whether or not it's a good idea to write at all about someone you're sleeping with - especially when it's a delicate issue - and when you start off writing nasty things about him to convince yourself that you don't like him very much, only to realize later that you do - and just haven't gotten around to writing that part down yet.

*gulp*

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