Saturday, February 26, 2005

Craigslist Trauma... *sigh*

Jah, so I'm cruising on the info highway, having taken another bong hit (since I recently decided to start smoking a little grass again after only eating it -- and very little at that -- for the past few months; this is also in response to my having cut down considerably on my drinking, which I think is causing problems, and will have to be remedied soon)...uh...

Let me start again, I'm all about digression this evening, as you will see.
So, I'm motoring down the info highway, and I decide to cut a right over to Craigslist.
I've been hearing about how funny the Rants and Raves section is, and have, in fact, been witness to a few really hilarious diatribes concerning everything to women's perception on penis size, to the reasons why chicks should shave brazillian, to comedic poems that trash ex boyfriends.
In an adventurous mood (that was some good shmerb), having already watched all the porn I could handle for one evening, having laughed along for an hour with David Letterman (I would love to have his children), and having reorganized the "works in progress" files that I will be working on for my new website that I'm making for my Mom...I proceeded to click on "new york" and then "rants and raves."

What I found wasn't pretty.

99% of what I found was nothing more than really ignorant people making racial slurs at one another...with equal amounts of hatred from different races.

It was really disgusting and sad. Here I was, hoping to laugh my ass off, and all I could do was shove my cat's ass off my keyboard and make a statement about how fucked up these people were:

"I thought I'd check it out to laugh about someone dissing their ex boyfriend/girlfriend, or to read a humorous diatribe on politics or sex or whatever...
What I really didn't expect to see is people blatantly insulting others with racial slurs (and this goes for all sides of the spectrum; there are nearly as many "whitey" slurs as there are against other races). It's a bummer. Seems like once you don't have to put a face or identify yourself, that everyone's inner demon decides to take over.

Someone made an interesting comment about "Who is Craig" and said he was probably some Arian who was trying to give people the leway to go the extra mile down the highway of hate.
I'd actually suggest that it's really just a sociolgy or psychology experiment, to simply prove the percentage of people who are so unhappy with their own lives that they have to take the time out to insult, degrade, or shout out how much (fill in the blank) sucks because of the color/lack thereof of their skin.

Y'all need to pull a few tubes, drink a beer, and chill the fuck out.

Then again, there are idiots like myself who sit and read it and feel the need to make a comment on something that cannot be stopped; if anything it's simply another ineffective way to try to make myself heard on a subject no one really seems to give a shit about...kind of like throwing a brick into a canyon."


Then, all pleased with myself, I posted it.

Looking back, I realize, it's really rather dumb that I did. Nobody gives a rat's ass who reads on there...but perhaps, in the event that another person of a similar mindset as myself decided to give the ol' Craigster a whirl, and was as disgusted as I was, that maybe they will feel a little less like having stepped into a fucking horror show.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Out, Out, Damn Tonsils!

The latest news flash in our Heroine's life: I've got fucking Strep Throat.

Yes. I want your pity. Or a check, whichever...

However, it is my duty as your friend to reiterate this important public service announcement, that was broadcast as a bulletin on MySpace and in emails to whomever was in my contact list at work today, in case you missed it:

Hey Gang
just to let you know, the jury is back in, and the doc says I DO have Strep Throat...
I woke up the day after the BDay party (uh, on my fucking birthday) with it, and was probably contagious w/ it the night before.
So, please go to the doctor if you have come down with a sore throat or bad cold w/in the last week.

I'm sorry!

love you
d


See? Aren't I swell? Aren't a great human being?
I couldn't fucking believe it. The doctor knew for like two or three days and didn't let me know...he just called and suggested I take antibiotics since my throat was still hurting. Ya know, this shit can turn into Scarlett Fever and other nasty-sounding icky things? So god knows who I infected...the whole Island of Manhattan and it's surrounding boroughs could come tumbling down in a heap of asphalt, phlegm, and swollen uvulas, and it will be MY FAULT. This fucking nimrod gets paid HOW MUCH for a diagnosis that he doesn't even give me? You know what he told me when I went in, throat so sore it felt like I was swallowing glass?

(Read in the voice of the Horse on Ren & Stimpy)

"Hmmmm. Oh my...that looks awful. Hmmmm....well, it's definitely not Strep. God, it looks bad, though. Pretty Gross! Wow! Hehehe, just kidding, hon...well, it does look bad, though...ew...all that stuff running down the back of your -- aw, well.
I think you've just got a virus."


HA. That's what this fucking clown told me the last time I saw him. Perhaps if he pulled his head out of his ass, wiped off a few awards and diplomas, and quit trying to be a stand-up comedian, he might be able to make a proper diagnosis...
Really, doc? Shit, you ought to take that act on the fucking road. You're funnier than Jerry-Fucking-Seinfeld.

So the asshole swabs the back of my throat, (uh, wait a minute...what kind of blog is this?!?!?) and tells me he'll let me know...Uh, ya know...it takes like 24-48 hours to get the results. I heard from Speedy today with the results...it's been like five days.

Anyway, at least we caught it, and at least I'm on antibiotics...I hate taking those things, but if I have to, then it might as well be for something important...


Tamazu: Humor observations blogs


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