Monday, January 17, 2005

My Acting Life (or Lack Thereof)

I'm really unsure as to what is going on acting-wise in my life. Dad said he was retiring from acting class...and the company is falling apart. I mean, let's be real about this: sure, it's my company, but it's really HIS company. None of the people in the company would be there if it wasn't for Dad and his reputation in the business. Now he says that he is starting up classes again. However, I don't know if anyone is going to be in it except for me and ____, and maybe _____. I think everyone else already got themselves a new teacher, which I can't blame them; as an actor, you have to pick up the pieces and keep going, especially in your learning. I just don't know...
And I don't know what we're going to do about the company. Is anyone going to stay? Dad feels okay now, and is going to be a part of it, but what about when he isn't feeling that great? Am I up to trying to run/handle the entire company?

_____ wants to just let it die and then start his own; he has suggested that he will allow me to join his if this happens (although after my most recent phonecall, where I left a message telling him what a pussy he was for not speaking his mind to Mom and Dad about things that need to be done in the company, he may rethink his offer).

Do I want to act anymore? Yes.
That is what has been depressing me so much lately, that the company and class seem to have fallen to the wasteside, like a dead animal on the side of the road.

I'm also trying, in my own fucked up way, to work on writing, even if it means just writing blogs for now until they become something more fluid.

I'm just so confused. To top it all off, my birthday is just around the corner and I feel like such a loser.


Anonymous Anonymous said...




11:33 PM  

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