Thursday, November 11, 2004

Extra, Extra, read all about nothing

What is the deal with men? I mean, really. In fact, what is the deal with women, too? I think being bisexual has simply complicated matters even more. One friend was like "well, at least you'll alway have a date."

WRONG!

Sure, I can get a date, but after date one or two, the person is like, "uh, can we just be friends? anyone on the planet seems better than you."

Okay, maybe I'm being a bit melodramatic, but I'm tired of making excuses for dumbasses. I am worth a bit more than that. A meal and wine doesn't necessarily mean that I'm gonna fuck you. No matter how much your kisses make me sigh. It means I'll probably end up fucking you, especially if you ask to see me again on another date, but not on the second date. I'm too old for that shit. And anyone who says "well, your single again, just relax and go wild - you deserve it" is right and wrong at the same time.

I want a little romance. I want someone to woo me. I want them to go out on a limb to get me to be with them. Then, I want them to bang the shit outta me.
Is that so much to ask?

Fuck these rich men who find me amusing. Fuck these stupid girls who write rude letters accusing me of hitting on their women (and shame on their women who confuse my attempt at friendship as a leering gesture). Fuck ex-husbands who lied for five fucking years and said they would give you a child and leave you barren at age 32 without the possibility of bringing a child into this world without shopping at the local spermbank.

Fuck them all.

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