Sunday, January 23, 2005

I Should Just Enjoy a Good Thing, Right?

I think it's a sad state of affairs that my life has come to, when I get so excited about a phonecall from a man.
I suppose that it isn't that weird; the butterflies that we all feel when we really like someone are wonderful experiences that I shouldn't give myself shit for...I guess it's just that lately I have been kind of ho-hum about so much in my life...and then today, as I'm coming home from a stint of shoveling, my neighbor approaches me:

"We're having a fondue tonight; L. and O. will be there, so you are coming, yes? Bring some salad stuff. Oh, by the way, ____ called me and wanted your number...he's really upset, he lost it and wants to talk to you...so I gave him all your numbers."
And I swear I did a little jig in the hallway and was so happy...which continued as I came in and found out that he had called me twice. In fact, he called me four times today...once over at my neighbor's.

This, kids, makes our hero very happy...and that annoys me.

What is this freak's problem? You might ask. She got what she wanted - he called!

Yes, and I'm thrilled. I guess I mean that it annoys me that THAT makes me so giddy. Because, now, if I don't hear from him, I'm going to be bummed out...at least for a little while.
A friend not to long ago asked me if I'm bipolar. I was unsure...perhaps. I think, though, that if I am it is really only in relation to my relationships with people that I am attracted to, and how easily my happiness - or lack thereof - all rests on how I am treated by these people.

That is what annoys me...

But I'll tell ya, it feels nice anyway.

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